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Transitioning
We are transitioning all the time, we are transient beings. The moment I find myself comfortably settled in a pattern being it motherhood, relationships, art I start itching again. To push the boundaries to go deeper to find a new meaning. I am transitioning to film that was my first love something I wasn’t able to pursue when I started out because I was living in China and finding a lab was impossible and coming to Hk to process was expensive and buying film was expensive and I know these might sound like excuses but they’re not. I remember trekking to Hong Kong, newborn in the baby carrier a pram that was so hard to carry in the extremely child unfriendly roads of central. Going to colour six to pick up my scans, loving them, sometimes hating them ,cameras straps tangled with baby carrier’s straps, two world so extremely different interlaced because on top of all the crazy mess of my life, among the milk bottles, and pacifiers I had to take photos otherwise, what the hell. The first years of motherhood seemed tough but now looking back they were probably not in comparison. I am transitioning from being a mother to babies/toddlers to be a mother of eight, six years olds. Dealing with more complex issues, issues that sting because they remind me of my own issues, with personalities blossoming and taking a life of their own, it goes all so fast you would sometimes grab them by the hood and ask them to please stop growing. I am transitioning and it’s all good. Because we are transient, our life is transient and imagine if we had to be stuck in one place physically or metaphorically a whole life, we would drawn. So I am transitioning, not always happily but trying to do it bravely and reminding myself is never too late to learn how to overcome the hurdles along the way.I am transitioning from swimming deep down in new motherhood waters, I sometimes let my head come up to the surface,explore a new horizon, see other possibilities. It’s not always easy, but I am enjoying the light on my face, from time to time.
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